When I came to the U.S. from Europe, I thought I would not have any problems communicating as my English was very good. I started learning English at an early age and later studied it, but I soon realized that even though I could speak it quite fluently, I spoke more the ‘written’ English and not so much the way people speak on a daily basis.
So, when I went to play tennis I heard words that I knew but whose context did not make any sense. ‘Darn’ I remembered from my vocabulary studying days, but what does ‘darning’ socks and tennis have in common? It was, however, quite easy to make out what this word meant as it was only always uttered when a player made a mistake.
But I had to check it out. I came across The Etymonlogy Dictionary’ explaination:
Darn (interj.)
tame curse word, 1781, American English euphemism for ‘damn’, said to have originated in New England when swearing was a punishable offense; if so, its spread was probably influenced by ‘tarnal, short for Eternal, as in By the Eternal (God), favorite exclamation of Andrew Jackson, among others. Related: darned (pp. adjective, 1806); darndest (superlative, 1844).
So, it is not a cuss word, ‘darn’ is just a replacement for ‘damn’. When you hear ‘damn’ you might get offended, but hearing ‘darn’ is always just fine. But why?
Language is symbolic, right? The written or spoken word merely stands for whatever it is that is being talked about. So if words are symbolic, doesn’t ‘darn’ and ‘damn’ symbolize the same thing? Why then is one expression deemed okay, while the other is generally considered taboo?
Here’s another thing I don’t get – context matters so much in determining the vulgarity of a word. Being at the movies and hearing the word ‘damn’ tossed around for an hour and a half by all the main characters probably won’t bother you, but sitting at a 5 star restaurant and having your neighbors use that word constantly, would offend you. But would it also offend you if you went to a sports bar watching football and your neighbors used the d word during a fumble? Probably not.
So, why does context matter when it comes to vulgarity?
That’s the thing about language, it is symbolic, it is subjective, and it is quite open to interpretation.
So, because cursing words are subjective, can you explain why calling a cat a ‘darn cat’ is much nicer than ‘that damn cat’, when the meaning and intent behind the words is exactly the same.
Language is subjective, period. Our culture and worldview certainly influence the meaning of words, but our individual interpretation will make a “bad word” bad.